REFLECTING ON 52 YEARS

I’ve been recently reflecting on the past 52 years of following Jesus Christ as my Lord. I realize that He knew me before I was conceived. He stands outside time (which He created, along with everything in the universe and beyond what can be seen or understood with a finite human brain).

He saw my beginning and He has seen my ending here on the earth. There is nothing that He doesn’t know. That is what being omniscient means. He’s also omnipotent and omnipresent. He is that and infinitely more in union with the Father and the Holy Spirit, being one God in Three Persons, blessed Trinity.

Being graced by Him to come to know Him better (for apart from Him, I can do nothing as it relates to Him) I grow more and more amazed at His love, His compassion (which means “to suffer with”), His patience and His grace.

I realize that He IS Life within me. I was essentially dead when He opened my eyes and my heart to see His love for me. I was astounded then and I am astounded now to understand that His love for me has never been about my performance or innate abilities. There is no one more ineffective in changing their circumstances than a dead person. I was that dead one. He alone has given me life.

When I was 19, He sent a prophet named Mac Boyd from Houston to a prayer meeting in Austin for one night to speak to me personally. I asked Him later, “Why?” His answer was, “Why not? You’re Mine.” I was delivered from bondage to the demonic, supernaturally received the manifestation of praying in the Spirit (speaking in tongues) as the Holy Spirit purged me, praying out the garbage that had impacted my soul in a way I never could have. A prophetic anointing was given by the laying on of that man’s hands. God did it and I had nothing in me to merit any part of it.

I have become very aware that God is not impressed with my giftedness, my anointing to minister nor the call on my life as a priest in His church. He’s not impressed, because He’s the One Who gave it all to me in the first place. Without His Life, presence, Power and Grace none of what He has invested in me will function to the benefit or blessing of anyone. That is incredible freedom to me. I can depend on Him and don’t have to try and depend on me…ever.

I was told by an old Bible teacher, when I was but 19, that God would never be disappointed in me. I was shocked and couldn’t wrap my wee head around that thought. But then the old saint told me, “Son, you can only disappoint someone when you surprise them by what you’ve done. God is never surprised. He sees your beginning and your end at the same time. He sees you on into eternity.”

Believe me, I continue to be disappointed in me on a somewhat regular basis. I still get shocked (though I shouldn’t be) that when I trust in my flesh, it produces the same crap it did when I was 16 years old.

Being forgiven by God when the Holy Spirit put me into the death of Jesus Christ and then put me into the resurrection of Jesus Christ, I know that there is nothing that the devil can ever accuse me of that has not already be dealt with by Jesus Christ.

Being forgiven opens life to be honest with the Lord God about my needs, my failures, and His successes in me. I need have no fear for He is faithful and just to forgive, to cleanse and keep on cleansing me from every vestige of unrighteousness that still sticks to me. Having begun a good work, His promise to bring that work to completion is both my hope and my peace.

I have watched Him do miraculous things like make a blind eye see again, dissolve cancer, deliver persons from demonic oppression and control, make a migraine instantly disappear, repair a torn thigh muscle after a prayer for healing as the person drove to see her doctor. I’ve seen people stoned out of their minds on LSD become instantly sober asking Jesus to take control over their life. I’ve seen the dead raised back to life, rescued by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Lest anyone think more of me than they ought, believe me, I have this “treasure” in a “jar of clay” so that anyone looking can see that the glory comes from Jesus Christ living in and through me. It is not inherent in me, but in Him, from Him, by Him and for His glory.

Jesus is still doing in and through His followers what we read about Him doing on the pages of the Gospels and the Book of Acts. Jesus Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit is still doing far above and beyond what we could ever ask or imagine. He just wants us to trust Him, believe that He told us the truth, and yield the whole of life to Him as Lord of it all…and follow Him.

It's been an amazing, perplexing, astounding, hilarious and at time devastating thing to follow Jesus Christ for the past 52 years, but there is Life found in no other. There is hope that will not bring shame found in no other. There is joy and peace, and purpose and meaning found in no other. There is no other worthy of following, serving, obeying and loving with all I am.